


Fake News

by HanukoYoukai



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Well it's supposed to be funny, it kind of got away from me, spider-man far from home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 15:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanukoYoukai/pseuds/HanukoYoukai
Summary: ***SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME SPOILERS!!!***..........................................Peter has one last challenge from Mysterio he has to deal with, thankfully with the help of Happy and some fellow Avengers. Things didn't work out the way he thought they would.





	Fake News

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE NOTE THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE!!!!
> 
> If you don't want Spider-Man: Far From Home spoiled, please don't read this yet. 
> 
> This is meant to be light-hearted and fun. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Come on. Come _on_ , Happy, pick up. You gotta pick up, man….”

Peter was frantically pacing on a brick wall in an empty alley parallel to the ground below him, keeping well out of sight of potential threats. Funny how he never thought the citizens of New York would be a threat, but since he had been chased down by an angry mob after that broadcast, he realized he needed to reconsider his ideas on the subject.

“ _You have reached the voicemail box of_ —Happy Hogan.” Peter pressed the end-call button and nearly threw his phone to the ground below him in frustration, but he managed to take a deep breath before doing something rash. Breaking his phone would not fix this mess. He dialed again.

And again.

What the hell could be keeping the man so preoccupied that he could ignore _ten_ calls from Peter? Wasn’t he still the point guy?

“Hello?” Peter nearly cried in relief at hearing Happy’s gruff voice.

“Oh my God, Happy, I’m in trouble. I’m in serious trouble! I don’t know what to do!”

“Whoa, whoa kid, slow down. What happened?” Happy sounded alert at once. Peter was positive he heard May’s voice in the background. He shook his head a little, trying not to think about what the two of them were up to this late.

“There was a report about me on the news! Mysterio made a fake video. Oh my God, Happy, everyone thinks I was the one who was operating the drones! And that I murdered Mysterio! Mysterio is _still alive_ , oh shit I don’t know what to do—”

“Kid,” Happy interrupted. Peter stopped talking at once. “Breathe.” Peter took a deep breath followed by another. Tears were falling from his eyes and he sniffled a little. “Okay?”

“…okay.”

“Okay. Now, start from the beginning. What happened?”

So Peter told him. Peter told him how Mysterio somehow tricked him again. He told him about the video released to the news that indicated Peter was going to hurt everyone with drones. He told Happy that now everyone knew his name.

_Everyone knew Peter Parker was Spider-Man._

Peter nearly stopped breathing. He crouched down and tucked himself against the wall as he spoke, as if he was trying to shrink. His heart beat wildly against his ribs and he felt a tightness in his chest. He clenched his jaw and focused on the sound of Happy’s voice.

“Okay Peter, you’ll be fine. It’s going to be fine. Come back home, and we’ll sort it out together. I’ll find a way to get you out of this, okay?”

Peter sniffled again. “Okay.”

* * *

Peter sat next to May on the couch of their apartment, avidly watching the news, waiting for the next segment. His fingers drummed nervously on his knees as May sipped out of her mug. “Peter, honey, just drink some tea and try to calm down.”

“Calm down? _Calm down?_ I can’t calm down. May, this isn’t gonna work!” Peter said as he shot off the couch. He started pacing in front of the television. “I’m not even there to defend myself—”

“Peter, you made a statement to the press already. It would be odder for you to be there.”

“I still think that I should have been there with a… I don’t know… a Spider-Man double,” he said, collapsing against the couch again. He gripped his hair, trying to ground himself.

“We already talked about this. They would ask Spider-Man to prove he’s Spider-Man. You know there isn’t a suit set up to mimic your abilities yet. Not only that, but Spider-Man has barely given straight answers to reporters he meets on the street. Or at fundraisers he attends,” she said, pulling his hands down and giving him a smirk. Peter huffed and resumed his finger drumming. “Trust Happy. I do. You do too, remember? He knows what he’s doing.” The music changed directed Peter’s attention to the television once more. A young woman with dark black hair and a pretty green blazer over a crisp white shirt welcomed the viewers after the music trailed away.

“Welcome back. If you’re a resident of Brooklyn or Queens, we’re sure you’ve seen the web-slinging vigilante that goes by the pseudonym Spider-Man. As many of you know, recently a shocking video was released which revealed a darker nature to the hero,” the clip of Mysterio dying at Peter’s feet played. Peter twisted his hands together. It was so convincing. No one would believe this. There was no way out. It wasn’t going to work.

“Several testimonies have come out about Spider-Man since the release of this video, including a press release by Peter Parker himself, who denies the claim,” again another clip played, this time of Peter standing with his aunt, looking down then back up into the cameras, pleading innocence. “I’m not Spider-Man. I don’t understand how anyone could think that.”

In the clip, May stood beside him and argued heavily on his behalf, saying it was outlandish that anyone could consider a 16-year-old boy could possibly be a superhero. “If I had known,” she began tearfully, dabbing her eyes and wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulders, “that asking Spider-Man to help with my fundraiser for victims of the Blip would make people think my nephew ran around this city in spandex, I would never have involved him, despite the good that it did for our community. The fact that that—that—badly dressed, joke of a hero from an alternate dimension would accuse Peter of something so outrageous, well, it makes me wonder what else he could have been lying about.” Peter had to hand it to her, May was ridiculously believable. All he had to do was stammer (normal) and stand there quietly (mostly normal) and suddenly they painted a different picture.

“CNN is hoping to shed some light on the subject. With me today are two very well-known men, both heroes, both Avengers, and both with intimate knowledge about Spider-Man. Sam, Bucky, thank you so much for joining us.”

The camera changed to show Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes sitting side by side, nodding at the reporter. Sam smirked a little at the introduction, while Bucky sat forward, hands folded on the table before him. Underneath Sam’s face was a caption that read _Sam Wilson, Captain America._ Below Bucky was _James “Bucky” Barnes, Winter Soldier._ “Thanks for having us, Alice,” Sam said as Bucky nodded in acknowledgment.

“Thank you for being here,” Alice replied. “What do you make of this whole situation?”

Sam leaned back and stroked his beard. “Well it’s quite a story, I’ll give you that,” he said, shrugging a little.

“But it’s just that. A story, that is. And not a very good one,” Bucky added. Peter tensed, leaning forward, trying to get as close to the screen as he could while remaining on the couch.

“What do you mean?”

Sam shrugged again. “Well first off, no one tried to fact check anything with us, and that seems like an obvious first step considering we _work_ with the guy. We were available, training at the compound, but no one reached out to me or Bucky or even Pepper Potts. I mean, she was Tony’s _wife._ I think she’d know if Tony gave some crazy weapons system to a guy who wears a skin-tight suit.” Alice frowned at hearing this. Peter nodded along. That was true. It was weird no one asked anything before airing the story.

“A _child_ who wears a skin-tight suit,” Bucky scoffed. Peter frowned at the comment. Why did Bucky have to emphasize his age? “The fact is, no one tried to verify anything. No one fact checked. I don’t even think anyone reviewed the footage to see if the video was falsified in any way.”

Sam nodded in agreement, and Alice nodded in acknowledgment. “Yes, that has been brought up several times. I have to ask why you have been adamant that you should have been contacted prior to the release to this story. If you were asked, _would_ you confirm Spider-Man’s identity?”

Sam shook his head. “The man is very private. He has a family to protect, but we would have confirmed that Peter Parker is most definitely not Spider-Man, and would have advised against the release of that video.”

“You would fight against the showing the footage?” _Of course they would. They are now,_ Peter thought.

Bucky sighed. “Well, of course. I don’t believe in keeping the truth from the public, but _this_ isn’t the truth, it’s a slander against a kid who is still in high school.” Peter winced at the blatant lie that left Bucky’s mouth. “Now the kid has a target on his back. He’s got people going after him, his aunt, his friends, all because someone released a video where a madman decided to ‘give us,’” Bucky bent his fingers into quotation marks, “Spider-Man’s name. Now the public has been harassing the kid with a vengeance. It seems a little unfair to be dragging him through the mud like that.”

“But Mysterio is a hero. He stopped those monsters in Europe,” Alice said, furrowing her eyebrows.

Bucky shook his head. “I watched the footage of what happened in London. There are lots of recordings. In many of them, the image starts breaking apart, and at one point disappears altogether. One of the things that disappears _is_ Mysterio.” Peter sighed and nodded a little. It irritated him that people forgot that the entire illusion disappeared, including Mysterio himself. “He blinked out exactly like the monster before him.” The reporter had a thoughtful look on her face as she nodded in agreement to his point.

“That is something that has been mentioned before.”

“Besides, in terms of credit, Spider-Man’s been doing this gig for a while,” Sam said. “Can you imagine him trying to kill innocent people? Spider-Man is a good guy. He stops muggers and rescues kittens from trees.”

“He gives lost tourists directions,” Bucky interjected with a smile.

“I just can’t see how the guy could possibly order a drone strike on the population of London. But some guy in a green tracksuit with a maroon cape and a fishbowl on his head shows up—from an _alternate dimension,_ no less—does some suspiciously impressive heroics in the span of a week and claims our neighborhood hero who has been helping people for _years_ is not only a lunatic murderer, but also a 16-year-old from Queens? I don’t buy it.” _Damn,_ Sam was convincing. Peter was actually there, and he found himself agreeing with the same faith he always had in Captain America, even if he was a new person.

“That is definitely some food for thought,” Alice smiled. “But let’s get back to the original topic. Peter Parker. Is he Spider-Man?”

Sam and Bucky both shook their heads. “I can see why someone might get confused. Spider-Man is pretty short,” Sam said as Bucky pushed his thumb and forefinger toward each other.

“Hey,” Peter said, indignantly. May shushed him.

“And his hair is brown, and so are his eyes,” Sam continued. “I mean, with that blurry photo of the kid, it kind of makes sense why you could mix them up if you’d seen Spider-Man’s face. But that kid is not Spider-Man.”

“Yet you refuse to give us Spider-Man’s real identity,” Alice said, sharply.

“We haven’t ever been given his name,” Bucky said. Alice raised an eyebrow at this, and he shuffled a bit. “He’s a very private individual. Not even his family knows about him. He doesn’t want them to be hurt because someone was mad that he put them or someone they loved in jail. Spider-Man can be hard to get to, but his girlfriend? She’s pretty vulnerable.” Peter blushed furiously at the proclamation. Alice smirked a little at hearing the word girlfriend, a gleam in her eye. Bucky headed her off. “And no, I don’t know her name either. I don’t even know what she looks like. I just know that Spidey would lose his mind if she got hurt because of him.” Peter wondered if they knew he had a girlfriend now, or if they were embellishing for the story.

“Guilt complex a mile long,” Sam said with a headshake.

“Besides, we know Peter. He worked in labs with Tony during his internship,” Bucky sighed. Peter raised his eyebrows. “He’s a brilliant kid, but look at him. He’s got pimples, for God’s sake. He looks like he needs a Juicebox.” Peter blushed even more at this. Geez, Bucky was not holding back on him.

“Yeah, and he’s all sunshine and rainbows. Spider-Man, though, he’s an asshole,” Sam smirked.

_What?_

Alice startled and chuckled a little. “Excuse me?”

“Spider-Man is a little asshole,” Sam went on. Alice covered her mouth for a moment with her hand, but anyone could tell by the crinkles in her eyes that she was smiling. Peter’s mouth formed into a tight frown. “He’s cocky, you know? And he hasn’t been around long enough to get cocky.”

Bucky nodded. “He needs to be more seasoned. Spider-Man likes to talk a big game. Peter on the other hand? He’s sweet, like a cinnamon roll.” Peter moaned in despair, rocking a little. How the heck could he go to school after this? May rubbed his back in sympathy. “The kid would always run around the labs after Tony, talking about _this_ modification and _that_ experiment. He’s like a puppy.”

“But Tony always had a soft spot for Parker,” Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “To be honest, I’m more surprised that there are no rumors that kid is his long-lost son or something. This stuff with Mysterio? It’s a joke.”

_Wait back up, did Sam just say what I think he said?_ Peter’s heartrate picked up again.

Alice’s eyes lit up. “ _Is_ he Tony Stark’s son?”

Sam scoffed, still smirking a little. “I said I wouldn’t be as surprised by rumors that he’s related to Tony.”

“That didn’t sound like an answer to my question.”

_Oh_ God _, no._

“That’s not why we’re here. We don’t want to spread any gossip about Tony or Peter,” Bucky interjected. _Too late._ “We just want to confirm, without a doubt, that Peter Parker isn’t Spider-Man.”

“Thank you both for speaking about this,” they nodded at the statement. Alice turned and the camera angle changed to just show her behind her desk. “There you have it. The identity of Spider-Man remains a mystery, even to his fellow Avengers, and while Peter Parker has some _interesting_ ties to the late Tony Stark, the fact remains that he is not our web-slinging friend. Thank you for joining us, and have a good night.”

The television winked out and Peter turned his horrified eyes on his aunt. She sat back, remote in hand, with her lips pressed tightly together. Her eyes were wide and twinkling, though, so Peter was almost certain she was trying not to laugh. “What was that?” he asked her, trying to calm down.

May cleared her throat. “That was Captain America and The Winter Soldier telling the world that you aren’t Spider-Man.”

“May.”

“And possibly to sway any more thoughts toward the notion, they may have planted an idea in people’s heads that can clear up why a teenager has so much access at Stark Industries that is very different from being an Avenger.”

“ _May._ ”

“It’s really for the best, Peter. Happy told Pepper and Pepper came up with the idea, honestly it’s pretty brilliant.”

“People are gonna think Mr. Stark’s my Dad, May!”

May stood up and gently dropped the remote on the coffee table. “Peter, it was a choice between people thinking you’re a crime-fighting vigilante or the illegitimate son of a dead billionaire. This seems to be the lesser of two evils.”

“But—”

“But nothing. It’s done. Pepper will coach us on fielding the press for this, alright? Most likely the people following up on it will be gossip rags. Half of them will say you are, half of them will say you aren’t. It’s all speculation, since there isn’t any way to prove it. It’ll die down before you know, and pretty soon people will forget it was ever said.” She was right. With Tony gone, they couldn’t do a paternity test. It would just be another unsolved mystery about Tony Stark’s life. This was a new story; a new fun rumor to chase. It would pick up momentum and leave Spider-Man’s identity in the dust. Peter stared at his aunt, opening his mouth repeatedly as if he was struggling to say something. Finally he huffed and turned away from her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“They didn’t have to be so mean,” Peter said, sullenly.

May smiled. “Peter,” she said, gently.

“They said I have zits and drink juice boxes. That is so uncool,” he murmured. Looking at May’s raised eyebrow, it probably came out as a whine.

“All the more reason for people to stop suspecting you as Spider-Man.”

“They said Spider-Man was an asshole!”

May laughed outright at that. “He kind of is, Peter.”

Peter’s jaw dropped as he swung around to face his aunt again. “What?!”

“Honey, I’ve heard some of your quips when you’re catching people. They’re funny, but definitely rude.”

“I’m fighting bad guys; I’m not supposed to be nice to them!” Peter exclaimed as he threw his hands in the air and collapsed his body further into the couch. He pressed his hands against his face again.

“Sweetie, you know they don’t actually think badly of you, right?”

Peter mumbled an affirmative into his hands.

May sat back down and wrapped an arm around her nephew. “Hey, lets do something normal.” Peter lowered his hands and gave his aunt a questioning look. May grinned. “Let’s order some Thai, and when it gets here you can tell me all about how your plan to woo MJ went off the rails, but worked out anyway.”

Peter blinked in surprise at May. “How could you possibly know that’s what happened?” he asked. He hadn’t said a word about it since he got back. They were more preoccupied with the stories of being tricked by Mysterio and helping _Nick Fury_ of all people.

“Because, my sweet boy, I have known you your entire life, and it’s not hard to predict what happened. So, details over Thai?”

Peter sighed, staring at the blank television screen once again. There was nothing he could do about the Spider-Man rumors, or the new rumors that were bound to surface that he was some mysterious lovechild of Mr. Stark. May smiled at him, full of warmth, and Peter found himself smiling back, a little tension slipping away from him. “Yeah, May. Thai sounds pretty good right now.”

They managed to deal with the last challenge Mysterio threw at him. Peter would just have to wait for tomorrow to deal with the one left by Sam and Bucky.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahahaha
> 
> Oh Sam, Bucky, why you gotta cause new problems for Petey-pie?
> 
> Me and my hubby saw the movie yesterday, and we were wondering about that end credit scene, and my hubby says, "they can just call some Avengers in for an interview. Thor will just show up and be like, "Ah, yes, the Man of Spiders does look somewhat like this boy, but he is a warrior, not a child!" Then I remembered all the shade Anthony Mackey and Sebastian Stan threw at Tom Holland, and well, this was born. Hope you liked it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
> 
> Oh, also, I have a tumblr now? So... follow, I guess? And if you have questions about my stories or requests, I'm happy to take them there (here too). @hanuko on tumblr.
> 
> EDIT 7/14/19: So, this fic got a lot more Kudos than I was expecting more quickly than I was expecting. I have other ideas for this story arc, I am wondering are people interested? If so, let me know in the comments or at my tumblr, and I'll see about adding to it. 
> 
> Thanks!


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